Jerry's House of Ass Beating

So here is the five minute comment fic meme, stolen, as one does, from pocky_slash and schmerica:

1. Clear your schedule for five minutes (or longer if you have time, I'm not gonna turn down more fic).
2. Then look under the cut tag, where you will find ten prompts, all of which are song titles (selected at random from my iPod WMP library).
3. Choose one of the prompts, and - using any appropriate fandom/character[s] (meaning ones you think I might enjoy) - write.
4. Reply with your teeny weeny story in the comments to this post.
5. Repost this in your journal and make your friends write for you!

( This says an unfortunate amount about my musical tastes. )

So someone(s) did actually ask for a translation of Cant. IMHO it's not actually necessary to know the vocabulary to get the gist of the story, but here we go anyway.

( Varda the bijou cut tag )

I was just looking for soothing pictures of my future husband, James McAvoy, and then this:

(4:24:16 PM) sabinelagrande: WHAT IS THIS EVEN, HOW HAVE I STUMBLED INTO ALL THE BAD HAIR GALLERIES
(4:25:09 PM) coffeesuperhero: THAT SOUNDS LIKE AN AWESOME ART GALLERY
(4:25:18 PM) coffeesuperhero: JAMES MCAVOY'S BAD HAIR GALLERY
(4:25:24 PM) coffeesuperhero: GALLERY, A WORD I TYPED AS "BALLERY"
(4:25:38 PM) sabinelagrande: I WOULD GO TO JAMES MCAVOY'S BALLERY ANY DAY OF THE WEEK
( Cont. )

You do know what's coming, don't you? ( Heh heh, coming )

Title: Do Nothing Till You Hear From Me
Summary: In vino veritas, and all that.
Fandom: X-Men: First Class
Word Count: 2357
Rating/Contents: NC-17, drunkenness, ~feelings~
Pairing: Charles/Raven
Policies: Read my archiving, feedback, and warnings policies here.
A/N: So, my gdocs has gotten totally out of control, right? Not because of the number of stories (not that that's good either), but because I've given up entirely on giving things names that relate to what's actually in the document and just started naming them whatever silly shit comes to mind. It's actually worse than this now, because I just started working on "Raven Darkholme got to get paid." So here is what was labeled "everybody in the club getting tipsy." As one does.

( Do Nothing Till You Hear From Me )

I don't often do the icon thing, because 1) I really couldn't care less about fancy filtery things and tons of lorem ipsum everywhere; I just like making nice pictures of hot people smaller 2) it triggers my obsessive tendencies something FIERCE; I will be up til 6 AM going, "Seven of these pixels are wrong and they're STARTING TO MOCK ME" 3) I have very little actual technical ability with photoshop. I am willing to go as far as using the Extract filter. After that, I can't be buggered.

But if I wanted icons of any combination of Raven, Charles, and Erik except Erik/Charles, by god I was going to have to make them myself. So here are some icons! We have, under the cut, 6 Erik/Raven, 4 Charles/Raven, 2 Darwin, 1 Ororo, 1 Emma, and one Erik/Charles/Raven. You are not tripping balls: Some of them are the same thing with or without borders or text, and all of them are poorly photoshopped. You can tell by some of the pixels.

( Nice pictures of hot people made smaller )

This is why I must be stopped: because now I am dreaming about Magneto.

First I dreamt very vividly that Ian McKellen died, and oh my god I was overcome with grief. He's never allowed to actually die now, at least not before me. I have seen how I will react. It isn't pretty.

Then last night, I dreamt that Erik Lehnsherr gave me a back massage to Bohemian Rhapsody while I was candy flipping.

It sounds so much like I created that sentence with a random word generator.

But then we had to leave, for some reason, and we went to the store. We were talking about gender socialization and separation of "male" and "female" domains in store displays while we were looking at the Halloween clearance aisle, and then my dad was there, and he was like, WTF is this shit, and I'm like, Dad, you don't understand my work.

And we were in Denver, and we had just gotten back from the club to the hotel room and gone to bed (in a completely platonic way, because I never get laid in my dreams). All the hallways were really small, and I was having this long inner monologue about state nomenclature. And my dad was there again, and I was like, Dad, me and Erik are trying to get some sleep, you need to go home.

And we got up, and for some reason we were famous- I mean, we had been famous this whole time, we didn't wake up famous. And I'm watching us on the morning shows and talking to my producer, and I'm like, this bitch on Fox News is getting every single thing we told her wrong, and ze was like, I know, right?

And then Charles was there, and they were having some kind of competition involving random number generators. And this led to trying to open competing cafes in the same town? And then my alarm started going off, which is when I became convinced that this was all evidence about how we should take down JSTOR.

If I knew, I would tell you. I think the reason that it bothers me the most is that I'm a Charles girl.

Also yesterday, because Wikipedia is down and it is knowledge Lent, I calculated whether I was taller than Charles Xavier. By my calculations, yes, because Patrick Stewart is an inch taller than me, but James McAvoy is two inches shorter, so Charles Xavier must be half an inch shorter than me. QED

I was not the one on twitter to ask if that was sitting or standing. But you know we were all thinking about it, because we are horrible, HORRIBLE people, every last one of us.

But Erik is much taller than me. That is comforting.

Oh, flist. I assure you that, one day, this too shall pass, and I will go back to SGA or Doctor Who or something. But I've gotten to the point where I don't want to make new friends, right, just because we share a fandom. There are cool people I want to meet, but IDGAF if they want to prattle on about Sherlock or Supernatural or something, just as long as we like each other. And I think, like, if you don't have that philosophy, it's totally legit if you defriend me. But I probably won't defriend you, because if I've got you friended at this point, it's because I think we're friends, not just people who like the same thing.

That got serious for a moment. Let's go back to baby sloths taking a bath.

Title: Just Keep Watch
Summary: Erik never asked for this. He's not even sure who did.
Fandom: X-Men: First Class
Word Count: 2729
Rating/Contents: NC-17, voyeurism, public sex, very big consent issues. Anything more specific is a spoiler, so for detailed information on possible triggers, highlight to read:(skip) graphic noncon, memory erasure, mind control, and mentions of statutory rape.
Pairing: Charles/Raven
Policies: Read my archiving, feedback, and warnings policies here.
A/N: God, people. I have this terrible weakness, right? Because whenever someone says "Someone should write X" or "Why do I never see more of Y?" I go directly to Gdocs, because I am Wish Fulfillment Man! By day, a lowly graduate assistant; by night, purveyor of questionable pornography and filler of kinky requests everywhere! (And this is why I don't do kink memes anymore. I have a job.) So this is helens78's fault. Okay. Now I am really going to write the thing that's overdue, I promise, you guys.

( Just Keep Watch )

Okay, okay, I have other things to post about, but it's late, they're long, and they have to go under flock. So instead here are two short, amusing notes:

1. I want to write the story of Magento, the fabulous alternate universe Magneto, so very hard, you guys. You have NO idea. Unfortunately, nobody thinks it's hilarious but me. You just don't know, y'all.

2. OMG I have a glorious gyakusai_swap present! Go very quickly here and see the absolutely glorious Pearl and Maya art that cannedebonbon made for me. It is completely lovely and must be appreciated forthwith.

OKAY I AM SLEEPING NOW. Because tomorrow is for writing for exchanges and poss. making the house not look like a bomb went off in it (unlikely). <3 <3 <3

Title: Change
Series: Abide
Summary: All he wants is to be normal.
Fandom: X-Men: First Class
Word Count: 2056
Rating/Contents: PG, D/s AU, gender/sexuality (and the mutability thereof) issues
Pairing: Angel/Hank
Policies: Read my archiving, feedback, and warnings policies here.
A/N: These mutants, I swear to fucking god. So I have Thoughts about this story? But they are really Thoughts about D/s AU and wish fulfillment in general, and I feel like, honestly, I might be tap-dancing on people's toes, and it is SERIOUSLY too early in the year to be doing that. So here is a lot of Hank and Angel having ~feelings~.

( Change )

Title: Out
Summary: When Erik needs it, he really needs it.
Fandom: X-Men: First Class
Word Count: 3642
Rating/Contents: NC-17, D/s AU, catharsis play, bratting (like really a lot), bondage, humiliation, paddling
Pairing: Raven/Charles/Erik
Policies: Read my archiving, feedback, and warnings policies here.
A/N: So this is what was supposed to be the first part in the D/s AU that accidentally happened (I swear to god, it was just going to be Erik getting fucked up the ass, and then EVERYTHING GOT OUT OF HAND). IDEK. And let me state that I've officially gotten to the point where I have to search the AO3 to figure out if I've used a title yet. Sigh.

( Out )