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The annoying thing about political economy textbooks is that the letters only appear when the Black Candle is lit beneath a Blood Moon.

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Stop. Helping.

Aug. 22nd, 2017 01:00 pm
[syndicated profile] cakewrecks_feed

Posted by Jen

It's only natural, I know. You see all the wreckage on this blog and you think, "Ok, but surely I can keep my order from being wrecked, right? I mean, all I have to do is help the baker out a little!

"Why, if I just spell it out clearly, military style..."

Nice job, Ace.

 

"Or maybe if I write it all down...

 

"And if I indicate which part is the actual text..."

 

"Um... Or what if I ask for just a single letter? That's easy, right?"

Color me impressed. Or magenta. 

 

"Ok, fine, I get it. You've made your point. No text. I guess I'll just ask for a flower or something."

 "AAAAAUUUUUUUGGGGHHH!!"

 

Thanks to Katy E., Cristina B., Terry M., Brandt H., & Anony M. for making this post literally painful. 

*****

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Posted by David Malki

I saw the eclipse! Mostly! Not in totality, like most people. But I still thought it was pretty cool, so I made this shirt:

Various color shirts are available (black/red/blue/more) — also, you can order a mug or sticker with this design, or a hoodie.

All of them are available for just 7 days, through Tuesday August 29 only!

[ I Saw The Partial Eclipse T-Shirt ]

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I take it back. I would buy this in a heartbeat.

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Hey geeks of Houston! We've sold more than half of the discounted student tickets for BAHFest Houston! Buy soon if you wanna see me, Jorge Cham, Phil Plait, and lady-who-went-to-freakin-space Nicole Stott.

I Can See Clearly Now... And... EW

Aug. 21st, 2017 01:00 pm
[syndicated profile] cakewrecks_feed

Posted by Jen

I don't remember my 2012 slang very well - was this an actual thing people said?

"You're eggs is prego."

There are so many things wrong with that sentence, my brain just imploded.

 

Still, at least it was a "closed belly" shower.

What does that mean?

Aw, I'M SO GLAD YOU ASKED.

BEHOLD!!

The "Peek-A-Boo, I Eat You" Appetite-Suppress-Inator!

(Have I been watching too much Phineas and Ferb reruns? Yes, yes I have.)

 

Now, that's pretty good, but you must admit: the baby-embedded-in-clear-gelatin is kind of hard to see.

So for maximum "Inator" effectiveness, we're gonna need to open that baby (belly) up.

THAT'S BETTER.

[head tilt]

Hmmm, but is it possible to make the whole thing shinier?

You know, in a more seeping, moist, and gelatinous kind of way?

YES!

Just think, with these Appetite-Suppress-Inators, soon, Cake Wrecks will RULE the ENTIRE TRI-STATE AREA! Mwuah-ha-haaaa!

 

Thanks to Rish, Rachel G., Karen Q., & Diana M., who'd all look adorable in brown fedoras, I just know it.

*****

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08/21/17 PHD comic: 'Eclipse'

Aug. 21st, 2017 04:10 am
[syndicated profile] phd_comics_feed
Piled Higher & Deeper by Jorge Cham
www.phdcomics.com
Click on the title below to read the comic
title: "Eclipse" - originally published 8/21/2017

For the latest news in PHD Comics, CLICK HERE!

Five Moments

Aug. 20th, 2017 12:40 pm
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Posted by <a rel="author" href="/users/CrystalInsight/pseuds/CrystalInsight">CrystalInsight</a>

by

One shot. Five moments Sam meet Amadeus Cho and the one-time Amadeus made him feel inferior. Peter P./Amadeus. One sided Peter P./Sam.

Words: 736, Chapters: 1/1, Language: English

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I mean, the rainbow thing is just a phenomenon due to refraction. How self-centered do you have to be to think it's just about you?

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Geeks! Just about 10 days to get in your submissions for BAHFest Seattle and BAHFest San Francisco. We're going to have some really awesome geeks on stage, so please submit soon for your chance to be part of things!

Sunday Sweets: Filibuster Edition

Aug. 20th, 2017 01:00 pm
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Posted by Jen

A friend once told me, "I love all your posts, but I have to admit, on Sundays you could really write anything. I'm just there for the gorgeous cakes."

Hey, works for me! So, let's see, all I need is to pull together a bunch of amazing cakes, like this:

(By BMT Cake Designs)

...and then fill up the page with whatever I want. It's a Sweets filibuster!

 

Does anybody have a copy of Green Eggs and Ham?
No? Ok, never mind. I'll improvise.

(By Jessicakes)

But, soft! what light through yonder window breaks? It is the east, and Juliet is the sun. Arise, fair sun, and kill the envious moon, Who is already sick and pale with grief, That thou her maid art far more fair than she.

 

(By Mike's Amazing Cakes)

A towel is about the most massively useful thing an interstellar hitchhiker can have. You can wrap it around you for warmth as you bound across the cold moons of Jaglan Beta; you can lie on it on the brilliant marble-sanded beaches of Santraginus V ... and of course dry yourself off with it if it still seems to be clean enough.

 

(By Mishelle Handy Cakes, pic by David Baxter Photography)

I read some 4 and 5 star reviews by those who used this device successfully to change a baby while driving. On that basis, I bought one. I put my baby on it and drove for over an hour. It did not change. Same baby. I am glad it worked for some people but I will be returning mine.

 

(By Cotton and Crumbs)

I have six locks on my door all in a row. When I go out, I lock every other one. I figure no matter how long somebody stands there picking the locks, they are always locking three.

 

(By Iced and Dazzle, pic by Erin Schaefgen Photography)

I hated her... SOOO... much, it - flame, flames? Flames, on the side of my face, breathing - breath, heaving breaths. Heaving breaths... Heathing...

 

(By Cakes Decor member Ria123)

Up up down down left right left right B A start.

 

(By Lovely Cakes)

"You are using Bonetti's defense against me, ah?"
"I thought it fitting, considering the rocky terrain."
"Naturally, you must expect me to attack with Capo Ferro."
"Naturally, but I find that Thibault cancels out Capo Ferro, don't you?"

 

(By Rosebud Cakes)

...and I believe you should put a woman on a pedestal.. high enough so you can look up her dress. And I believe in equality, equality for everyone.. no matter how stupid they are, or how much better I am than they are. And, people say I'm crazy for believing this, but I believe that robots are stealing my luggage.

 

(By Cakes By Beth)

A king cake is a type of cake associated in a number of countries with the festival of Epiphany at the end of the Christmas season, and in other places with the pre-Lenten celebrations of Mardi Gras / Carnival. The cake often has a small plastic baby (said to represent Baby Jesus) inside (or sometimes placed underneath), and the person who gets the piece of cake with the trinket has various privileges and obligations.

 

(By Party Flavors Custom Cakes, photo by Amanda McMahon Photography)

1. Take ice tray over to the sink and fill it with cold water.
2. Place the water-filled ice tray back in the freezer.
3. Shut the door to the freezer.

 

(By Neli Josefson)

During the rectification of the Vuldrini, the traveler came as a large and moving Torg! Then, during the third reconciliation of the last of the McKetrick supplicants, they chose a new form for him: that of a giant Slor! Many Shuvs and Zuuls knew what it was to be roasted in the depths of the Slor that day, I can tell you!

That's it! The filibuster's over.

Thank goodness these Sweets speak for themselves.

*****

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On Sight

Aug. 18th, 2017 05:31 pm
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Posted by <a rel="author" href="/users/Charlion_EM/pseuds/ThwipBit">ThwipBit (Charlion_EM)</a>

by

Luke and Danny have finally admitted their long held feelings for each other and Peter figures it's about time he makes a confession of his own. But, he may be too late.

Words: 1733, Chapters: 1/3, Language: English

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Look, it's like 400 BC. All of math is a couple theorems for plane geometry and maybe some number theory.

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Just twooooo short weeks left to get your proposal in for BAHFest Seattle or BAHFest San Francisco! We are always looking for more submissions from women, so please nudge your nerdy ladyfriends!

This One's For The Girls

Aug. 18th, 2017 01:00 pm
[syndicated profile] cakewrecks_feed

Posted by Jen

(ATTENTION MOMS: this post may be mildly inappropriate for young children.)

 

Alright ladies, it's OUR turn.

That's right: it's time to turn the tables on all those chauvinistic guys who order the boob or butt cakes, rendering the female form as nothing more than an object - and an edible one at that! It's time to ogle the MALE form in cake for once, and show them how it feels! You heard me, gentlemen: prepare... to be objectified!! [rubbing hands together] Heheheh. This is gonna be awesome.

Ok, let's start the show!

First up, ladies, check out this sexy little...

Oh.

["Urp"ing noise]

Sorry, sorry. Uh, yeah, Julie B.? This one's really not doing anything for me. In fact, the neck hump area is kind of grossing me out.

 

Not to worry, though; there's more where that came from. Next!

Huh.

Um, Donna B., not that I don't appreciate the liberal use of painted-on under-arm hair (and other hair which I was kind enough to cover - you're welcome) and the whole "good luck on your wedding night" sentiment, but again, this is really having more of the opposite effect on me. Maybe it has something to do with the fact that it looks like the chest of a pasty-white prepubescent.

 

Ohhhkay. Now I just creeped myself out, looking at this. [averting eyes] Next! NEXT!!

Whoa! I think we just went to the other extreme; this guys looks to be about 70. And is it just me, or does he have a bunch of raisins on his chest? That, or his chest hair has gone all matted and clumpy.

[gagging] Rapidly. Losing. Appetite.

By the way, Amanda E., not that I'm complaining, but I don't think he has any nipples. Again, NOT complaining. Really. Put those raisins down, woman!

 

Oh, look: Tam & Annabel found Mr. Heard-it-through-the-grapevine's bottom half, and it begs the question...

Is acupuncture ever a good package deal? Just wondering.

 

Ok, this is ridiculous. I don't feel like we've objectified any guys at all with these cakes! Sarah W., you're our last hope. Bring it, sistah.

Aaaugh!! My eyes! My seared, bleeding eyes!

What this headless, neckless, armless, and legless torso lacks in limbs it certainly makes up for with day-glo orange streakiness. Not to mention that it exudes a kind of sinister intelligence: I swear it's looking at me.

In fact, here's a hypothetical for y'all: You get up in the middle of the night, and turn suddenly to find this cake hopping along behind you. Do you:

a) scream
b) laugh
c) grab a fork or
d) all of the above?

[sigh]

Well, ladies, I'm sorry: our quest to objectify men using cakes has failed. But on the bright side, we'll always have Tom Selleck - right?

*****

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I like to imagine Russell as sort of like the white rabbit, only he's always late for an appointment with a barber.

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The REAL King Cake

Aug. 17th, 2017 01:00 pm
[syndicated profile] cakewrecks_feed

Posted by Jen

Yesterday was the 40th anniversary of Elvis Presley's death, so I thought I'd feature some appropriate cakes. However, I realize many of our younger readers may not be familiar with The King. So listen up, whipper snappers! Picture an older, more talented, better looking, Southern Justin Bieber wearing a white, bedazzled jumpsuit.

...

Also, he may or may not be dead.

...

Maybe don't picture that part.

 

Right. All together now? Then let's get started!

 

This is Elvis:

Rawr! Ffft ffft...

 

This...

...is not Elvis.  I'm thinking either Ray Liotta or Wayne Newton.

 

Elvis:

Not Elvis:

John claims this looks like Jimmy Durante. It's like I don't even know who he is anymore. (John, I mean. Jimmy I had to wiki.)

 

Elvis:

 

Um...

I'm going with Liza Minelli.

 

Elvis:

Oh! Wait! I know this one!

The Brawny paper towel guy!

 

And finally, Elvis:

Annnnnd:

Queen Amidala. Or maybe one of the guys from Menudo. (Thanks, John!)

No, no, I'm staying with Amidala.

 

Thanks to Paula H., Diana C., Connie B., and Chrissy K. who are all, collectively, nuthin' but hound dogs. And oh! The crying! ALL the TIME! Enough, already!

Ah thank you. Thankyouverramuuuch.

 

Update from john: The Munsters! The last one looks like the kid from The Munsters! I knew it was something with an "M" from my childhood.

*****

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