I think a few useful bits on the difference between BDSM Fantasy and BDSM Reality would be nice. the BDSM community likes to present itself as an abuse-free safe space, and...hearing that it has issues with creepers who aren't kicked out because "Oh, that's just Fred" hurt me.
Safewords are an awesome concept, but there are always issues. People are scared to use them. Doms get upset when they're used for reasons they don't consider "good enough". People get caught up and forget to use them.
Fancy ropework takes a lot of time to tie. Leather goods are expensive. Metal is even more expensive, and can be hard to store unobtrusively. Metal chafes. Cheap convenience-store handcuffs break, sometimes in a locked position.
If I had a nickel for every story I've read where somebody is left bound and alone all day with no bathroom access, I'd be able to afford those expensive leather toys. Make it a dime whenever someone is left gagged all day with no way to drink and no way out if they throw up, and I could afford the metal ones.
sassbandit's article on checklists is great - negotiation is far too frequently seen as being boring legalese paperwork.
Doms don't have to be assholes. Subs don't have to be wimps.
no subject
I think a few useful bits on the difference between BDSM Fantasy and BDSM Reality would be nice. the BDSM community likes to present itself as an abuse-free safe space, and...hearing that it has issues with creepers who aren't kicked out because "Oh, that's just Fred" hurt me.
Safewords are an awesome concept, but there are always issues. People are scared to use them. Doms get upset when they're used for reasons they don't consider "good enough". People get caught up and forget to use them.
Fancy ropework takes a lot of time to tie. Leather goods are expensive. Metal is even more expensive, and can be hard to store unobtrusively. Metal chafes. Cheap convenience-store handcuffs break, sometimes in a locked position.
If I had a nickel for every story I've read where somebody is left bound and alone all day with no bathroom access, I'd be able to afford those expensive leather toys. Make it a dime whenever someone is left gagged all day with no way to drink and no way out if they throw up, and I could afford the metal ones.
sassbandit's article on checklists is great - negotiation is far too frequently seen as being boring legalese paperwork.
Doms don't have to be assholes. Subs don't have to be wimps.
I'll try to think of more to add.