Jerry's House of Ass Beating

Yuletide!

2023-10-20T00:18:19Z

Dear Yuletide writer, ( Read more... )

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YULETIDE

2022-10-15T00:04:55Z

( Yuletide?? )

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LADS! LADS! LADS!

2022-03-20T06:09:10Z

So I quit twitter recently. It was pretty sudden, but there were a lot of reasons. It's a big time suck, though admittedly I just reach for other things to suck my time away. Mostly, it was really aggravating my paranoia and compulsive need to fix things. I'm the kind of person who feels attacked if they can't solve a problem, which is wild but some of y'all know what I'm talking about, and you can't have a 24/7 unasked for news feed in your face during a war if you can't handle the fact that you can't just get on a boat and tell a world leader to calm his tits.

In the interim, I suffered a pretty significant career setback that was genuinely very surprising, whether that was my fault for not being prepared or not. I'm still not anywhere near reaching a resolution, but I did kind of appreciate that someone didn't smear it across twitter as it was happening.

It's me, I'm someone.

The annoying thing for me and everyone around me is that I've been using twitter daily for over ten years, and I just have so many thoughts about everything all the time, so they're getting splashed across the like four people I talk to in huge torrents. So I thought I might make a post about the fandom I am currently torturing everyone with: Oxventures! ( Come and have a go if you think you're hard enough )

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Sabine's Small Business Rec List

2022-01-30T21:30:59Z

So for the last… while, I've been keeping a running list of the online shops that I've used, in my quest to support small businesses. The problem has been that it's on Twitter, so it's been locked. I decided to transfer it over here instead.

And then it grew. And grew. But finally this fucking albatross is complete. For now.

Anyway, please see inside for about ninety small businesses you can buy things from. Jesus. ( Consumption awaits )

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at four o'clock in the morning

2021-12-29T03:46:41Z

SO. I got my copy of Here We Go Round The Mulberry Bush finally, and I have powered through it. If you're not familiar, this book is the sequel to He Used Thought As A Wife, both of them being by Tim Key, with design by Emily Juniper (the one in the UK). The first book is about the first London lockdown and the beginnings of the coronavirus outbreak; the second one is about the third London lockdown. The main character is a fictionalized version of the author, and the books are made up of poems and script-format dialogues with other people. They are extremely hard to explain, but they were hands down my favorite books this year.

He Used Thought As A Wife is (finally) widely available, but right now the only place you can get Here We Go Round The Mulberry Bush is the "Utter" & Press website, as it doesn't go into full release until February.

Get you these books. I promise to you they are extremely good.

Anyway I'm so bursting with feels and opinions that I wrote them all down. This post does in fact spoil both books, but here we are. ( Read more... )

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Yuletide aaaaa

2021-10-18T14:48:26Z

Dear Yuletide writer, ( Read more... )

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And now like as much sleep as I can muster

2021-04-16T04:31:34Z

So I had a bad experience with a blood draw today and I needed to get it out. CW for needles, sharp objects, consent issues in medical treatment, and suicidal ideation. ( Read more... )

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Towards American Witchcraft, Pt 1

2021-03-03T01:28:01Z

So what happened was:

I was becoming increasingly discontent with the kind of paganism I was practicing. I'd set out specifically to find an authentic path, and I hadn't. So I decided to devote this year (it ended up being calendar year, because everybody was in a state on Samhain) to researching what exactly witchcraft in America (particularly the Southeast) looked like. With that understanding, my goal is to recreate my practice in a way that befits the actual practices of my area of the world. ( Read more... )

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PSA

2021-02-24T15:09:00Z

Quick post: I realized I wasn't sure what I'd tried to do worked, so you may or may not have seen it.

But I wrote a novella! You can read it (for free!) in epub or pdf at this link!

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Original Work: Special Relationship

2021-02-23T05:10:02Z

Hi! Hello!

So I decided that this year, I was going to actually complete an original fiction project. And I have! I spent all of January and most of February writing an original novella, and you can read it now!

Drew Owen, on accident, becomes the husband of one of the most powerful women in the world. His life is thrown into disarray, just in general, but even more so when he meets someone new. Will everything come crashing down around him, or will he get caught instead?

Special Relationship is an original polyamory femdom novella. Do you like badass ladies? Do you like men who adore them? Do you feel sad about the state of British diplomacy and just want to read something where Brexit got fixed? I have about 30k words of feelings and porn about it for you.

.epub format (89kb) | PDF (414kb)

I'm distributing this for free and it is not for sale. However, I will drop this button if you do feel the spirit move you:

Oh god, it's done. Please go read it. Lord.

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Masquerade hasn't looked like a word since I was a kid

2021-02-15T01:49:17Z

So this is the story of the dumbest challenge I ever faced as a player in a TTRPG.

This is not a story about trying to do something literally impossible, like the time me and Spell Bro couldn't get up a cliff because our strength scores were too low and Spell Bro damn near killed hisself because he tried like six times anyway. It is also not a story about doing something in a really dumb way, like the time me and Spell Bro killed another party member because we were working under the assumption that being inside a T-rex would provide insulation for lightning and fire damage, which we probably should have rolled a check about instead of just deciding it was fine.

Most of those stories involve Spell Bro.

Instead this is a story about the first time I played Vampire the Masquerade, when a combination of game mechanics and the ST meant the story could barely even get started. ( Masqueraaaaaade )

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The weight

2021-01-09T21:19:14Z

So here's some stuff that's been going on in my life, and I wanted to share it because it's important for me to be open, for the people who can't. It's also a thing I am quite certain many people went through during lockdown and are also struggling with. I want to provide my story so that people see what can happen and that it can turn around.

Basically, I starved myself during lockdown on accident, and I'm trying to pull out of it. ( TW: weight loss, unhealthy eating, mental illness )

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A list of cross stitch information

2020-12-29T01:01:26Z

I've been cross stitching for *checks watch* about thirty years, and here is a list of lists of things you should have or know. ( allons-y )

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Laws, etc

2020-12-14T19:44:38Z

There's a push, especially in D&D, to remove the alignment system. I actually don't agree; I think it's perfectly acceptable to make it optional at your table, but I find that it lets players grab hold of something concrete to hang a character on.

But a massive problem I see with it is there's a serious lack of nuance when it comes to lawful alignments. I think it's because being lawful can seem kind of exhausting. You do have to follow the rules, if you care about losing alignment (something I don't like). That doesn't mean you have to be Doing Law all the time.

To this end, I'm going to offer some suggestions for what lawfulness can look like, based on my own real world experience. ( Read more... )

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Tarot, elections, decisions, et cetera

2020-11-08T06:16:06Z

The Tower is my personal tarot card. ( Some thoughts about the Tower and also the presidential election )

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Sweet Fig Farmhouse

2020-08-05T20:09:19Z

So this was my winning entry for Cantrip Candles's Cantrip Quest competition in March of last year, which was to create something based on the scent of the month. I noticed that it went down, presumably because they stopped doing the contest, so I figured I'd slap it up here for posterity. Plz enjoy a relaxing story about some ladies and some adventurers, and some fruit. No content warnings.

( Read more... )

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I do not remember anyone's actual names so I didn't need to change them

2020-07-21T04:02:35Z

So here is the story of the most mortifying thing I ever had to do.

It is not the most mortifying thing I ever did, because I have mortified my friends on countless occasions. I'm getting better, but my life from about 14 to 23 was "Sabine no" "SABINE YES". But this is something I was required to do, even if I kind of got myself into it and should just have said no.

Content warning: high schoolers butchering Shakespeare, language shaming, extreme Englishness. ( Read more... )

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Definitely don't remember his name either

2020-06-28T22:13:13Z

I am enjoying just kind of telling random stories, so please enjoy this, the hardest I have ever dunked on anyone. ( Read more... )

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The name was, however, not intentional

2020-06-20T23:42:57Z

I'm going to explain to you how a movie from 1999 led directly to the 2012 parade at Dragon Con, a thing even the other people in the parade are not necessarily aware of.( Read more... )

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And I don't think I even got his name

2020-06-14T02:31:56Z

I was put in mind of this, and I don't think I ever told anyone about it. So I present it to you: the weirdest interaction I ever had with a doctor.

Lest you start thinking this is the worst experience I ever had with a doctor, being discriminated against at the doctor when you're female-presenting/fat/queer/mentally ill is not weird, it's just morally wrong. I go to any new doctor fully expecting that they are against me, then work from that point. But this is not about that, because this story is supposed to be funny, or at least baffling.

And there is a lot of talk about liver cancer in this story, but nobody ended up having cancer. Except Patrick Swayze. I told you it was a weird story. ( Read more... )

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Grog art!

2020-04-04T03:21:35Z

So I realized I never actually posted the Grog pinup that Lindsay Ishihiro did for me. I couldn't just post it to twitter, because goliath dick, so I am posting it now! The image is v explicit, so I am cutting it here. ( Read more... )

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What Sabine Is Doing: Reading

2020-03-15T00:05:04Z

And now, things to read! ( Read more... )

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What Sabine Is Doing: Watching

2020-03-14T23:31:16Z

Next up: things to watch! ( Read more... )

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What Sabine Is Doing: Games

2020-03-14T22:24:16Z

So I'm going to make a list of the various entertainment products I have enjoyed lately/am enjoying now, for anybody who's isolating or just in need of some good times. I'm breaking this out because it turned out I had more to say than I thought I did, so first, video games! ( Read more... )

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Putting my shingle out

2019-10-09T22:44:59Z

I'm doing tarot readings again!

Generally speaking, due to various factors, I conduct readings by email. You send me (sabinelagrande at gmail) your question and any supplementary information you feel is important to understanding it (a paragraph or so is fine- see this comment), I will do a spread, and I'll send you my interpretation and pictures of the spread. If you want an example of what this looks like, I have one available; I'm not posting it here because I don't want to put my cousin on blast in front of the internet.

I do these to hone my skills and I don't believe in charging for divination, but I do hope that, if the reading helped, you make a charitable donation in the amount you feel appropriate to a conservation or historic preservation organization. Some of these that I like include:

- the National Park Foundation
- the Institute of Southern Jewish Life
- the Mississippi Historical Society (or an equivalent association in your region)
- the Student Conservation Association

But feel free to choose something doing good work of this type in your area, or a COVID charity. No need to send a receipt- this is purely honor system.

Newly, I am also accepting barter. If you make something or provide a service, let's talk.

I'll keep this post up and update it when/if I'm no longer taking requests. Replies are screened in case you want privacy. Currently I am open!

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