Don't be a dick, be a dude. (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
sabinetzin) wrote2020-06-28 05:10 pm
sabinetzin) wrote2020-06-28 05:10 pm
Entry tags:
Definitely don't remember his name either
I am enjoying just kind of telling random stories, so please enjoy this, the hardest I have ever dunked on anyone.
So, because it was college, I hooked up with my Vice President during a Model UN conference. We're gonna call him Callum, because I don't know anybody named Callum and this guy is a highly respected researcher now. It didn't go well and we agreed we weren't compatible, though we texted on the side for a very long time after that. That was kinda it for the two of us, and the whole thing was tacky but uncomplicated.
A week or so later, everybody's at the house of someone I had very complicated feelings for, who used to throw house parties that were buckwild by nerd standards. Callum wasn't actually there, but the Treasurer of the Model UN team also lived in the house, so a bunch of their mutual friends were there.
(The Treasurer and I ended up the next year actually sleeping together at Model UN. And by that I passed out in his bed for reasons that I don't remember and ended up spending the night with him, completely chastely, while his roommate slept on the floor. Of course it had to become an inside joke.)
So I hadn't met almost any of Callum's friends, because he was a year younger than me. I sit down near some of them, and this one kid turns to me.
"You're [name], right," he says, not a question, which isn't a great start.
"Yeah," I say.
"I'm Callum's roommate," he says. "He said you two hooked up."
That Callum ran his mouth off did not surprise me one bit. I also didn't care, because while the hookup was not good, I had no regrets regarding hooking up with Callum and didn't care if people knew.
"What else did he say?" I ask, eyebrow raised.
"He told me something," he says.
By this point I'm fuckin tired of playing with this kid. I'm drunk, there's a party, I'm infatuated with at least two people here, one unrequited, one I will not learn is requited until literally my last night in town. I got shit to do.
"What was it?" I ask.
"First you have to kiss me," he says, in a voice that I think was supposed to be flirty.
How I reacted, I could not control. It just came out of me in a surge of disbelief and annoyance. I could not have reacted another way, because what I had been presented was so fucking preposterous and just gross that I could not stop myself.
I laughed in his face.
It was that indignant, how dare you laughter, a laugh to make someone feel inferior. His face fell, like he genuinely thought that was his in, like perhaps I was easy enough that he could bring his Z game and I'd fold like a cheap card table.
"I don't need to know that bad," I said, and I stood up and went to hang out with the guy who wasn't in love with me but never would have pulled some shit like that, at least not on me.
And it's a perfect encapsulation of a certain mentality, that PUA shit will get you laid, and if it doesn't work, it's because women are bitches who only like assholes, when actually, it's gross to do shit like that to anyone, and people end up falling for assholes because they're charismatic and interesting, as they do nice people who are charismatic and interesting.
But I will never dunk on anyone that hard again in my life, because it was just so pure and genuine that it will never be replicated. If this happened tomorrow, my first instinct would be to cuss him out, which isn't as satifyingly cruel as just dismissing someone to their face by laughing at the absurdity of the idea of physical contact with them.
College me was a fucking disaster, but very occasionally, she was a legend.
So, because it was college, I hooked up with my Vice President during a Model UN conference. We're gonna call him Callum, because I don't know anybody named Callum and this guy is a highly respected researcher now. It didn't go well and we agreed we weren't compatible, though we texted on the side for a very long time after that. That was kinda it for the two of us, and the whole thing was tacky but uncomplicated.
A week or so later, everybody's at the house of someone I had very complicated feelings for, who used to throw house parties that were buckwild by nerd standards. Callum wasn't actually there, but the Treasurer of the Model UN team also lived in the house, so a bunch of their mutual friends were there.
(The Treasurer and I ended up the next year actually sleeping together at Model UN. And by that I passed out in his bed for reasons that I don't remember and ended up spending the night with him, completely chastely, while his roommate slept on the floor. Of course it had to become an inside joke.)
So I hadn't met almost any of Callum's friends, because he was a year younger than me. I sit down near some of them, and this one kid turns to me.
"You're [name], right," he says, not a question, which isn't a great start.
"Yeah," I say.
"I'm Callum's roommate," he says. "He said you two hooked up."
That Callum ran his mouth off did not surprise me one bit. I also didn't care, because while the hookup was not good, I had no regrets regarding hooking up with Callum and didn't care if people knew.
"What else did he say?" I ask, eyebrow raised.
"He told me something," he says.
By this point I'm fuckin tired of playing with this kid. I'm drunk, there's a party, I'm infatuated with at least two people here, one unrequited, one I will not learn is requited until literally my last night in town. I got shit to do.
"What was it?" I ask.
"First you have to kiss me," he says, in a voice that I think was supposed to be flirty.
How I reacted, I could not control. It just came out of me in a surge of disbelief and annoyance. I could not have reacted another way, because what I had been presented was so fucking preposterous and just gross that I could not stop myself.
I laughed in his face.
It was that indignant, how dare you laughter, a laugh to make someone feel inferior. His face fell, like he genuinely thought that was his in, like perhaps I was easy enough that he could bring his Z game and I'd fold like a cheap card table.
"I don't need to know that bad," I said, and I stood up and went to hang out with the guy who wasn't in love with me but never would have pulled some shit like that, at least not on me.
And it's a perfect encapsulation of a certain mentality, that PUA shit will get you laid, and if it doesn't work, it's because women are bitches who only like assholes, when actually, it's gross to do shit like that to anyone, and people end up falling for assholes because they're charismatic and interesting, as they do nice people who are charismatic and interesting.
But I will never dunk on anyone that hard again in my life, because it was just so pure and genuine that it will never be replicated. If this happened tomorrow, my first instinct would be to cuss him out, which isn't as satifyingly cruel as just dismissing someone to their face by laughing at the absurdity of the idea of physical contact with them.
College me was a fucking disaster, but very occasionally, she was a legend.