Hmm.

There is a question I have been wondering about for a long time, flist, because I am fascinated by how writers write, and also because I am a pervert.

Do you get turned on when you're writing?

Like, the subject of porny fanfic- specifically my reaction to it- kind of mystifies me. For, like, a really long time, I didn't even understand that people got off on NC-17 fanfic, even though I read, like, a billionty words of it. Yeah, idk either. It just... didn't occur to me that people did that. And I am given to understand that other people find the act of writing exciting, but I have no idea how that even works. I find it satisfying, but in a completely nonsexual way. I am friggin too distracted by trying to find the right words to get turned on. I don't even find stories that I've written hot most of the time, because I'm still distracted by word choices and stylistic things, etc. etc.

I have, however, made myself weep copiously. So idk. You'd think they were similar.

So I wonder, Flist. Your thoughts?

(Unrelated: Watching Lucy, Daughter of the Devil, and of course, because it's H. Jon Benjamin, I keep seeing Archer every time Satan speaks. However, it occurs to me that they're... oddly similar. And this pleases me.)

I write everything down except what's on my mind

1. I came to the bizarre realization the other day that, out of all the things I'm presently into (I'm not counting Community, despite how desperately I love it, because I am so fucking behind I don't even count as a viewer anymore), Archer is the one that passes the Bechdel test. And a female POC is one of the main characters, and a majority of the main cast is female. How the actual fuck did this happen. Okay, I totally know how this happened: nobody working on that show gives any fucks about mainstream appeal, and the only reason they've gotten away with it was because it was completely a sleeper hit. It's one of those shows where everyone is a fucking horrible person and does and says fucking horrible things, so don't go looking to it for enlightened ideas or anything- but that's the point and the source of humor.

Fucking love me some Archer. But I still haven't seen the last episode, because I've been too down to properly appreciate it. Plus there are only two more episodes in the season and I don't want it to eeeeeennnd. But I do randomly shout "SOY EL CONTADOR" and ask people if they want ants (observe that my AIM status is currently, "Is that how you get ants, Barry? Yes it is, Other Barry."). Frequently.

2. I have been wanking up and down on the tumblr the last day or so- not because I want to get into a fight, because I don't, but because people just KEEP ON being wrong on the internet. And someone finally calls me out and it's over... critiquing bad fanart? That the OP didn't even do? Oh tumblr. (I'm not engaging, and I'd rather no one engaged in my name. The OP was snide but civil, so fuck it.)

While I was writing this someone else I kinda wanked at showed up, and I did engage with him. But he wasn't the person who I was actually pissed off at, so IDGAF. He can believe me or not, whatever helps him sleep at night.

God, the number of fucks I don't give lately. I never say anything remotely wanky, because I freak out really, really easily when I think people don't like me and don't take criticism well at all. But apparently being depressed and tired makes me just wanky as a bastard, because I no longer feel the need to keep my Thoughts to myself.

3. I am procrastinating a bunch of personal posts I want to make and a bunch of fic I want to write- okay, I'm not procrastinating the fic, I'm just in that space where, for example, the other day, I opened the gdoc that has all the new Blood Money stuff in it, left it open for, like, four or five hours, and literally wrote 29 words the entire time. Granted, they were good words- there was lip-licking- but that was fucking it. That was two days ago, and I haven't written anything since. But I am writing the dialogue meta- which is not like real writing at all. And I feel vaguely dirty for quoting David Mamet in it, but it is, officially, the most awesomely true thing anybody has ever said about writing good dialogue.

4. On the bright side, I'm pretty sure I have my costumes for this year picked out. One of them will be really complicated (a redesigned Scarlet Witch), one of them will be simple but expensive (Jonas Venture, Sr.), and the other one is a "we dressed him in the car on the way to the con"* costume (Pam from Archer). I am pleased about these costuming choices.

( TL;DR; I FUCKING LOVE COSTUMING )

And oh my actual god, why did no one ever tell me about Burda patterns before. ( FOR IT IS THE PATTERN COMPANY OF MY ACTUAL DREAMS )

So. That is a long entry. It has very brilliantly distracted me from all the other long entries. Excellent, excellent.