sabinetzin: Charles Foster Ofdensen (metal - sneakyface)
So I won the beautiful, generally badass [personal profile] chagrined in the [community profile] aau auction, and what did I get from hir? Gifs, glorious gifs!

Gif the first: No reason. )

I have wanted this gif for quite some time, because it is the ultimate non sequitur/fuck you. I can anticipate many internet arguments where the solution is to just post it and leave.

God, you have no idea how much I love Rubber. It is creeping up onto the top ten list of favorite movies. Why? No reason. It's just so fucking fabulous. HOW COULD YOU NOT LOVE IT, IT'S ABOUT AN EVIL TIRE. It's not a movie for everyone: audiences are divided rather sharply into "what the fuck just happened, I will never get that time back" and "WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED LET'S WATCH IT AGAIN RIGHT NOW." The way you can tell whether you'll like it or not is to watch the opening monologue (which ends at this gif); if you do not think it is the best fucking thing you've ever heard, stop the tape and walk away.

It is streaming on the Netflix and there's no reason you shouldn't watch it.

Moving on:

Gif the second: Charles Fucking Ofdensen, that's who )

If you have never watched Metalocalypse, allow me to explain that this is not- on paper- an assassin, or a weapons expert, or any other kind of combatant. This is their business manager. Even the dude who signs the checks is badass enough to get thrown out a window and take it in stride.

Also this is the point where he went from being amusing and kinda hot to irretrievably sexy. (What, you don't agree? Don't make me pull out the Rubber gif again.)

It is the happiest of days.

While we're like, IDK, posting and shit, after your eyes get done hurting from watching these gifs over and over, here are some memes what I found on my flist.

1. What sort of character would you like to see me play? It can be a general description, OR you can choose a specific name (I'd like to see you play _____). Then, tell me why!

2. I was thinking you should tell me about stories you think I should write. I mean, if you could sit me down for a day or whatever and say, "Sabine, I want you to write this story for me," what would that story be?

I'm not actually promising to *write* any of these, mind you, but it's fun anyway. And who knows if I'll be inspired!

Etc.

Dec. 19th, 2011 05:04 pm
sabinetzin: (sga - anthropologist fascinating)
1. Dear most depressing Charles/Erik story that ever was depressing,

Your presence is not welcome here. You are at least six thousand words long but, I suspect, closer to ten. There is something very wrong with the fact that you are associated with a terrifically sad Everclear song, which is just indicative of how much I really do not need to write you.

You are long and you are sad and I do not know how you end but I know it will be tragic.

Kindly GTFO my brain at once; if you cannot, we do request that you STFU at your earliest convenience.

No love,
Sabine

ETA: PS: NOOO STORY HOW CAN YOU HAVE A FULL SOUNDTRACK ALREADY, STOP THIS AT ONCE

2. Dear [livejournal.com profile] gyakusai_swap story,

Where are you? :( I love you, please come to me. Do you even know how sad I will be if I do not post you before your opposite number is posted?

I love you. Let me love you.

Please, please, please,
Sabine

3. Dear everyone,

You will be receiving New Year's cards from me; think about how much more sweet waiting will make them.

Belatedly yours,
S

4. OH MY GOD YOU GUYS, YOU GUYS, OH MY GOD

As I was typing this entry, a package came unto me (and I had to have that awkward, "Hey, [real name], are you expecting a package for someone, last name Gordon?" conversation with the security guard), and lo, it was my Secret Pals present! It is the most awesome and epic; all others may go home and try it again, for nothing could be better.

This is how it makes me feel: ASOIFHPSOIFJPAIEKJFASEJAJ'ASF;

Yes. Joyous pictures to follow.
sabinetzin: (holiday - chewbacca)
So. The challenge at [community profile] kink_bingo this month is tiny little fanworks! So here is an adorable (for certain values of the word adorable) little bite-sized blackout for you. 25 stories, each at or under 100 words. NC-17, with nothing really to warn about, other than the kinks themselves. The fandoms and pairings are (deep breath):

Fandoms: Ace Attorney, Stargate Atlantis, Metalocalypse, Blake's 7, SG-1, XMFC, X-Men movieverse, Inception, Star Trek (2009), MythBusters RPF

Pairings: Franziska/Gumshoe, John/Rodney, Elizabeth/Teyla, Pickles/octopus, Weir/Caldwell, John/Caldwell, Servalan/Travis, Sam/Daniel/Jack, John/Ronon, Charles Xavier/OFC, Teyla/Kanaan, Mystique/Wolverine, Ariadne/Eames, Charles/Pickles, Charles Xavier/others, John solo, Lorne/any, Kirk/Bones, Rodney/others, John/Rod, Tory/Grant/Adam, Miles/Phoenix, Mia/Diego, Rodney/Teyla/John, Avon/Servalan

Kinks: gags, domestic / tradesman kink, sensation play, tentacles, subspace / headspace, whipping / flogging, painplay (other), genital torture, leather / latex / rubber, caning, phonesex / epistolary, scars / scarification, wildcard (gender play), drugs / aphrodisiacs, body alteration / injury, enemas, anonymity, medical kink, orgies and decadence, mirrors and doubles, fucking machines, animal play, sex toys (non-penetrating), pegging / strap-ons, emotion play

Many cuts behind the cut, like you do )
sabinetzin: (marvel - by the hoary effing hosts)
I am still Unhappy, flist, but here are some story ideas that I'm probably never going to write that I'm hoping will make someone happy. If anything strikes you, feel free to take it off my hands.

1. Still waiting on that Caldwell/Rodney, flist.

2. Charles and Pickles, sexy misunderstandings )

3. John and Rodney, sadface )

4. John, Rodney, and liquor )

5. WraithHunters )

6. Planet Gaydar )

6a. Sidebar: General Lorne )

So. There's that.
sabinetzin: Charles Foster Ofdensen (metal - sneakyface)
Title: the key that got lost
Summary: Charles is missing something.
Fandom: Metalocalypse
Word Count: 996
Rating/Contents: so very NC-17, dirty talk, rape fantasy, general sick fuckery
Pairing: Charles/Pickles
Policies: Read my archiving, feedback, and warnings policies here.
A/N: And then sometimes you write a story in gleeful celebration of how much of a sick fuck you secretly (okay, not secretly) are. IDK, I blame it on Tom Waits.

the key that got lost )
sabinetzin: (gs - so gay for lisa basil)
So here are some things I meant to show you and haven't:

- [livejournal.com profile] seashadows wrote me a story! Musical Nerds Are Hot is a lovely little Charles/Pickles story which does exactly what it says on the tin.

- [livejournal.com profile] mific did a comic! Don't Come is a photo comic illustrating part of my story Beholden. It is pretty, wrong, and glorious.

- [livejournal.com profile] susan_voight did some podfics! She recorded my stories Backfire and Break, which are relevant to your interests if you like John and Teyla in corsets.

Hurrah!
sabinetzin: Charles Foster Ofdensen (metal - sneakyface)
Title: Tomorrow We Die
Summary: Comparatively speaking, this is detox.
Fandom: Metalocalypse
Word Count: 534
Rating/Contents: NC-17, public sex, missing scene for Dethhealth (3x03)
Pairing: Skwisgaar/Pickles
Policies: Read my archiving, feedback, and warnings policies here.
A/N: For a little contest over at [livejournal.com profile] capslokdethklok. Because beach sex is necessary.

Tomorrow We Die )
sabinetzin: Charles Foster Ofdensen (metal - sneakyface)
Title: Onstage Getdown
Summary: It all comes to a head half-way through a show.
Fandom: Metalocalypse
Word Count: 622
Rating/Contents: R, combative sex, homophobic language
Pairing: Skwisgaar/Toki
Policies: Read my archiving, feedback, and warnings policies here.
A/N: For the in public square on my [community profile] kink_bingo card. CHILDREN, THIS IS BLACKOUT. \o/

Onstage Getdown )
sabinetzin: Charles Foster Ofdensen (metal - sneakyface)
Title: we can roll all night
Summary: It's Charles's birthday.
Fandom: Metalocalypse
Word Count: 1198
Rating/Contents: NC-17, D/s, deepthroating
Pairing: Charles/Pickles
Policies: Read my archiving, feedback, and warnings policies here.
A/N: For the vehicular square on my [community profile] kink_bingo card. Two more!

we can roll all night )
sabinetzin: Charles Foster Ofdensen (metal - sneakyface)
Title: Safe From Harm
Summary: Pickles's needs and Charles's demons.
Fandom: Metalocalypse
Word Count: 2044
Rating/Contents: NC-17, sadism, impact play, nipple play, internalized kink-shaming
Pairing: Charles/Pickles
Policies: Read my archiving, feedback, and warnings policies here.
A/N: For the penance/punishment square on my [community profile] kink_bingo card. This has been sitting in my GDocs for months now under the heading "I had a really good title for this". No, I don't know what it was. But I like this one just fine.

Safe From Harm )
sabinetzin: Charles Foster Ofdensen (metal - sneakyface)
Title: love has its own demands
Summary: Charles can't get enough, and Pickles doesn't mind.
Fandom: Metalocalypse
Word Count: 1011
Rating/Contents: NC-17, trans!Pickles
Pairing: Charles/Pickles
Policies: Read my archiving, feedback, and warnings policies here.
A/N: For the worship square on my [community profile] kink_bingo card. For maximum sexiness.

love has its own demands )
sabinetzin: Hello, this is your ship's genius GQ motherfucker speaking (st - gqmf)
1. Do you like Metalocalypse? Do you like paling around? Are you on the DW? Then get your ass to [community profile] snakesfromdildos, DW's second (second! The first is an LJ fandom newsletter crosspost and doesn't count) Metalocalypse comm.

2. I have been crafting again!

Plushies! )

Hoods! )
sabinetzin: Charles Foster Ofdensen (metal - sneakyface)
Title: Present
Summary: Pickles has a little gift for Charles.
Fandom: Metalocalypse
Word Count: 948
Rating/Contents: NC-17, torture, D/s, voyeurism, generalized evil behavior, episode tag for Girlfriendklok
Pairing: Charles/Pickles
Policies: Read my archiving, feedback, and warnings policies here.
A/N: This story sounded like a great idea when I was drunk, and then I forgot about it. Thank god I remembered again.

Present )
sabinetzin: Charles Foster Ofdensen (metal - sneakyface)
Title: Step Thirteen
Summary: Tragic news today.
Fandom: Metalocalypse
Word Count: 500
Rating/Contents: R, mentions of child abuse and incest, character death, homophobic language
Pairing: past Seth/Pickles
Policies: Read my archiving, feedback, and warnings policies here.
A/N: You know how sometimes you get a story stuck in your head and it must exit? Yes.

Step Thirteen )
sabinetzin: (vb - slash friends)
Title: Make It Up
Summary: Charles isn't having it.
Fandom: Metalocalypse
Word Count: 1057
Rating/Contents: NC-17, D/s, jealousy
Pairing: Charles/Pickles
Policies: Read my archiving, feedback, and warnings policies here.
A/N: I am breaking my no-porn-at-work rule for you, internet.

Make It Up )
sabinetzin: PAZUZU, YOU UNGRATEFUL GARGOYLE (futurama - how papa gain his freedom)
Title: Thirty-Five
Summary: Charles has never aged a day.
Fandom: Metalocalypse
Word Count: 559
Rating/Contents: NC-17, drug abuse, semi-public sex. Could be interpreted as dubcon.
Pairing: Charles/Pickles
Policies: Read my archiving, feedback, and warnings policies here.
A/N: This is all [personal profile] arymabeth's fault. Okay, yes, some of the blame belongs to young!Pickles for being so hot. But the rest of it is [personal profile] arymabeth's fault.

Thirty-Five )

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sabinetzin: (Default)
Don't be a dick, be a dude.

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