Jerry's House of Ass Beating

Title: Physic
Summary: Vic is gone, but they're not.
Fandom: DCU (52)
Word Count: 100
Rating/Contents: R, past character death, hatesex
Pairing: Helena Bertinelli/Renee Montoya
A/N: For Porn Battle IX.

( Physic )

Title: Ain't No One Else Around
Series: The goddamn genderswap what still needs a name
Summary: Sometimes John just watches Meredith sleep.
Fandom: Stargate: Atlantis
Word Count: 759
Rating/Warnings: NC-17
Pairing: John/Meredith
A/N: 1) So I keep telling arymabeth that this is the verse where I accidentally turned John into Edward Cullen, and I'm really not kidding about that. 2) This is just a PWP, but know that it takes place sometime during season 4. The timing is important to other stuff that I haven't finished yet. 3) Dudes, as I was moaning to lallybroch, I have been trying to write John/Mer porn for like TWO FREAKING WEEKS. The first attempt turned into non-con (I know!), the second turned depressing, the third and fourth (which were sex pollen and lesbians, respectively, which you would think I could write in my sleep) stalled out completely. I guess I just had to hit the right angle (heh). 4) I stole the title from TV on the Radio, because apparently I don't listen to any other music. It's as bad as me and Paul Simon titles. Whatever. Think of it as a soundtrack.

( Ain't No One Else Around )

Title: And Keys Cut While You Wait
Summary: Daniel buys a calculator. His name is John.
Fandom: Stargate SG-1/Stargate: Atlantis
Word Count: 1483
Rating/Warnings: NC-17, AU, slavefic, surprisingly not non- or dubcon (IKR?)
Pairing: Daniel/John
A/N: For the roleplay/au (master/slave) square on my kink_bingo card. And that, my children, makes a line! I may do more in this AU, because the stuff happening in the background turned out more interesting than the stuff in the foreground.

( And Keys Cut While You Wait )

Title: Opening Act
Summary: Honestly, it's just porn. It doesn't summarize easily.
Fandom: Star Trek (2009)
Word Count: 488
Rating/Warnings: NC-17, blatant porn with no redeeming value whatsoever
Pairing: McCoy/Chekov
A/N: For st_xi_kink. This has nothing to do with anything, other than my secret campaign to convert the entire internet to my secret non-secret OTP, which doesn't need to make any sense because hot and adorable, dammit. Hopefully tomorrow I can get some real, god-honest writing done, something with, like, a plot or character development or grenades or something.

( Opening Act )

Title: A Botanist's Guide to Hazakura Temple
Summary: "Only you would stumble onto a priceless heirloom plant, and only for you would it be the only mystical aphrodisiac between here and Japan."
Fandom: Gyakuten Saiban
Word Count: 1453
Rating/Warnings: NC-17, sex pollen, dirty talk, vague T&T spoilers
Pairing: Edgeworth/Phoenix
A/N: For the aphrodisiac square on my kink_bingo card. Finally! Toppy Edgeworth is my favorite flavor of Edgeworth.

( A Botanist's Guide to Hazakura Temple )

Title: Marie of Romania
Summary: Love is a thing that can never go wrong.
Fandom: Stargate SG-1
Word Count: 735
Rating/Warnings: Hard R, light (resolved) angst
Pairing: Jack/Daniel, Jack/Sam/Daniel
A/N: Things I Am Tired Of In Slash, Part One: I am tired of reading Daniel/Sam/Jack stories that are actually Jack/Daniel stories where Sam hangs out for a while and then gracefully bows out because the love of Daniel and Jack is Proper and True. If you wanna write Jack/Daniel, write Jack/Daniel; I'm just tired of my OT3 getting broken up in stories that are supposed to be about my OT3. I don't go around breaking up your OT3. So I wrote the opposite, or maybe the logical extension. Also I debate whether this is fluff_friday appropriate. Hmm. It is Friday, after all.

( Marie of Romania )

Title: In Chambers
Summary: A lot of things come together to make Rodney go a little weird.
Fandom: Stargate: Atlantis/First Monday
Word Count: 1300
Rating/Warnings: NC-17, fantasy voyeurism, a little brain-breaky if you think about it too hard
Pairing: Rodney/John one-sided UST, Rodney solo, Julian Lodge/John
A/N: So, there's no real reason to watch First Monday, even though it did have James Garner and Charles Durning and Joe Flanigan (whose scenes you can watch on youtube, thanks to gaffsie). Because this isn't a proper crossover, all you need to know to read this fic is that Julian Lodge looks like this, and that the farther you get from civilization (in my experience), the weirder your DVD collection becomes.

( In Chambers )

Title: Vanilla Almond Swirl
Summary: Daniel maybe gets the wrong idea, but Jack eventually gets the right one.
Fandom: Stargate SG-1
Word Count: 1708
Rating/Warnings: NC-17, established relationship, spanking
Pairing: Jack solo, Jack/Daniel
A/N: For antares04a (again, see this post), who wanted some spanking; also sorta for gaffsie who wanted blushyface, and kinda halfway for valentinite, who digs kink without powerplay, even though this isn't really her fandom. How have I never written this pairing before? This is v., v. early SG-1, like maybe not even second season, because adorkable Daniel is the best of all Daniels. The title comes from Little Miss Communication by Jim's Big Ego, which you should really just have a copy of.

( Vanilla Almond Swirl )

Title: Performativity
Summary: House didn't think she had it in her.
Fandom: House
Word Count: 383
Rating/Warnings: NC-17, pegging, toxic amounts of swagger
Pairing: Stacy/House
A/N: For queenzulu and her id, pursuant to this post. Set pre-canon, obviously. Can we talk for a minute about how much I love Sela Ward? Because she's like my favorite, and not just because we're from the same town.

( Performativity )

Title: Because They Have Appeal
Series: John Farr (virgin!John track)
Summary: Rodney was allergic to citrus in more ways than one.
Word Count: ~650
Rating/Warnings: NC-17
Pairing: John/Rodney
A/N: Some Rodney backstory for the increasingly poorly named virgin!John track. No more puns about oranges, I swear.

( Because They Have Appeal )