Jerry's House of Ass Beating

So. The challenge at kink_bingo this month is tiny little fanworks! So here is an adorable (for certain values of the word adorable) little bite-sized blackout for you. 25 stories, each at or under 100 words. NC-17, with nothing really to warn about, other than the kinks themselves. The fandoms and pairings are (deep breath):

Fandoms: Ace Attorney, Stargate Atlantis, Metalocalypse, Blake's 7, SG-1, XMFC, X-Men movieverse, Inception, Star Trek (2009), MythBusters RPF

Pairings: Franziska/Gumshoe, John/Rodney, Elizabeth/Teyla, Pickles/octopus, Weir/Caldwell, John/Caldwell, Servalan/Travis, Sam/Daniel/Jack, John/Ronon, Charles Xavier/OFC, Teyla/Kanaan, Mystique/Wolverine, Ariadne/Eames, Charles/Pickles, Charles Xavier/others, John solo, Lorne/any, Kirk/Bones, Rodney/others, John/Rod, Tory/Grant/Adam, Miles/Phoenix, Mia/Diego, Rodney/Teyla/John, Avon/Servalan

Kinks: gags, domestic / tradesman kink, sensation play, tentacles, subspace / headspace, whipping / flogging, painplay (other), genital torture, leather / latex / rubber, caning, phonesex / epistolary, scars / scarification, wildcard (gender play), drugs / aphrodisiacs, body alteration / injury, enemas, anonymity, medical kink, orgies and decadence, mirrors and doubles, fucking machines, animal play, sex toys (non-penetrating), pegging / strap-ons, emotion play

( Many cuts behind the cut, like you do )

Title: Minimal Pair
Summary: Jamie can barely keep everyone organized as it is.
Fandom: Mythbusters
Word Count: 580
Rating/Contents: G, dorky linguist jokes
Pairing: Gen
Policies: Read my archiving, feedback, and warnings policies here.
Disclaimer: This clearly never happened.
A/N: So, like, a billion years ago, I talked about writing a story where Jamie was a linguist. And then toft declared a challenge based on it. And in all of this shuffle, the story never ended up actually getting finished. Until now! And yes, that is a real Language article.

( Minimal Pair )

So. Dragon*Con 2010.

Oh my god, this report is over 3800 words long. This is why I don't write con reports. But anyway, here we go.

( Thursday: Transit )

( Friday: The horrors of prereg, Billy Zane )

( Saturday: Nerds on Parade, Venture Bros, Adam Savage, Telesilla, Nuts on the Road )

( Sunday: What the fuck. )

( Monday: Transit. Again. )

TL;DR

Dragon*Con 2010: The Year We Accidentally Stalked Doc Hammer.

1. ::collapses onto the finish line::

You guys, my mcshep_match fic is done. I honestly can't tell if it's nothing like anything I've ever written, or if it's like taking everything I've ever written and putting it into a blender. I'm also afraid that the prompt isn't obvious enough, but WHATEVER IT IS DONE. I AM DRINKING A BEER NOW.

2. Please tell me I am not allowed to write an AU where the Mythbusters are high school madrigals, even if I have the PERFECT TITLE and it is IN LATIN.

I am possibly a little caffeinated right now.

3. Have I mentioned that the strip clubs here have started running TV ads? They would be unremarkable if they were like the Girls Gone Wild ads, but instead they are almost exactly like ads for local pizza parlors and car dealerships, except with more tits. IDEK.

LOL. Should I feel offended, or pleased?

(From here. I don't rec. the comments.)

Title: Practical
Summary: Jamie showed him the rope and said, "It helps me think."
Fandom: Mythbusters
Word Count: 1000
Rating/Contents: PG-13, bondage, but, surprisingly, no naked people
Pairing: Jamie/Adam... preslash?
Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction, which describes things that never happened.
Policies: Read my archiving, feedback, and warnings policies here.
A/N: Originally written for telesilla's prompt in the random_fic_is_random Kink Meme.

( Practical )

Okay, be honest. Which one of you wrote this episode?

So, the convention in the United States, or at least every school I'm familiar with, is to refer to your foreign language teachers/professors using the appropriate foreign language term of address. Right? Right.

So who around here took Russian? How did/do you refer to your instructors? Do you differentiate between Doctor [stereotypical Russian name] and Mister [stereotypical Russian name]?

(This has nothing to do with any Mythbusters AU that I may or may not be writing; and if it did, it would have nothing to do with the fact that Jamie is an escaped linguist. What would ever give you that idea. That's ridiculous. But since you thought of it, we'll do it.)

Title: Bondage Tuesdays
Summary: Grant has no idea what he's in for.
Fandom: Mythbusters
Word Count: 443
Rating/Contents: PG, crack, bondage, half-naked people
Pairing: Implied everybody/everybody else
Policies: Read my archiving, feedback, and warnings policies here.
Disclaimer: Clearly, this is a work of fiction, which describes things that never, ever happened.
A/N: This started out as a silly comment to coffeesuperhero, and turned into a silly little ficlet. IDEK. She said post it. I do what she says.

( Bondage Tuesdays )

You know, some times I know I have the goggles on, and I know I see kinky things where there are no kinky things. However, as demonstrated by ( this screencap... )

In non-kinky news, OMG you guys my gas mask shirt came! Between that and my Jamie & Adam pin from Comic-Con, I am the prettiest princess. :D