Fic: Partible

[sabinetzin]

Title: Partible
Summary: Multiplication and division.
Fandom: Stargate Atlantis
Word Count: 1336
Rating/Contents: PG, circa early S5, babies, etc
Pairing: Teyla/everyone (you heard me)
Policies: Read my archiving, feedback, and warnings policies here.
A/N: Another ANTH 101 story. Yes, this is really a real thing, and yes, it is hilarious until you really think about it, like so many cultural traditions (traditions of the Nacirema included).



It was impossible to claim that things had calmed down, because things were never calm on Atlantis; but nothing was actively exploding, and that was a nice change.

Things were under control enough that Rodney could have a moment with Teyla in the infirmary, holding her baby like glass and assuming he was doing it all wrong. "What are you going to call it?" he asked, gingerly petting its hair.

"Torren, after my father," Teyla said, and Rodney nodded. That seemed pretty standard. "Ronon, after his father." He raised an eyebrow at that, but it wasn't like it was that unexpected. "Kanaan, after his father. Rodney, after his father."

Rodney looked at her in shock. "Wait, what?"

"I am not finished," she chided. "John, after his father. Radek, after his father."

"Torren Ronon Kanaan Rodney Radek Emmagan is a little unwieldy, don't you think?"

"You forgot about John."

"Oh, I definitely didn't forget about John," he said. "Uh, Teyla, I'm sure what you've been told, but-"

Just then, Keller entered, pushing a cart ahead of her. "Are you in here tiring my patients out?" she said asked Rodney jokingly; she walked over to the bed, gently taking the baby from Teyla, letting him wrap his tiny fingers around one of hers.

"No?" he said. "I'm just- I'm just gonna go," he told them, and he beat a hasty retreat.

--

What Rodney intended was to have one of the biologists sit down with Teyla for a long talk about the bird and the bee- apparently the plurals were too confusing. What actually happened was that Teyla sent one of the anthropologists after Rodney, for what turned out to be an extremely eye-opening conversation.

Afterwards, Rodney found John and Ronon in John's room, where John was apparently trying to teach Ronon to hammer-on.

"You never told me you slept with Teyla," Rodney said, to the room at large.

Ronon snorted. "I also didn't tell you I slept with Katie."

John did a double-take, setting his guitar aside. "You slept with Teyla?"

"Shut up," he said, waving a hand at John. "You slept with Katie? I didn't even get to sleep with Katie!"

John rolled his eyes. "Jesus, McKay, how long did you date her for?"

"I wanted it to be special," he said defensively, crossing his arms over his chest.

"Oh, it was special, alright," Ronon said with a leer.

"God, just- just stop talking, both of you. We have a serious problem on our hands." Rodney rubbed his temples. "Okay, Ronon- where do babies come from?"

Ronon stared at him. "I see why Katie didn't sleep with you."

"Oh, ha, ha," he said, rolling his eyes. "It's a serious question. I'm trying to make a point, here."

He raised a skeptical eyebrow. "People fuck."

"How many people?" Rodney asked insistently.

"Two people," Ronon replied, still looking at Rodney like he had grown several heads. "Do you want a diagram?"

"Oh," he said, deflating a little. "I was hoping it was a pan-Pegasus thing, but apparently not. I guess that would make sense, though, since Sateda was apparently somewhat technologically advanced, especially as compared to-"

"McKay," John snapped, cutting him off. "What the hell are you talking about?"

"Partible paternity," Rodney huffed. "The Athosians believe that- okay, so." He made a series of confused motions with his hands. "Essences, they come together, and it doesn't really matter, the sequence of events, it all kind of adds up-"

"What?" Ronon said.

Rodney put his hand to his forehead. "Was that 'I don't understand the concept' or 'I don't understand you'?"

"Both," John told him.

"Look, okay, it doesn't matter who actually knocked her up, by the virtue of, uh, putting things in places, we all contributed to Teyla's baby on a," he waved a hand, "biological-slash-spiritual level."

John stared at him. "I kind of wish I'd known about that six months ago."

Ronon considered it. "I think it was probably worth it."

"I'm not saying it wasn't," he said. "I just would've, y'know, liked a heads up."

"The gist is that I think we all need to have a long conversation with Teyla," Rodney said. "So I'll go get Zelenka, and we'll just-"

John's eyes widened. "Oh, don't tell me-"

"Yeah," Rodney said. "Shall we?"

--

They had really gathered quite a contingent by the time they got to the infirmary. "We're here to see Torren and Teyla," Ronon said.

Keller pursed her lips. "I just can't let this many people-"

Rodney crossed his arms. "You're going to keep Torren from his fathers?"

She just stared at him for a moment. "Just go in," she said, holding a hand up. "I don't want to know, just go in. You can have ten minutes."

Torren was tucked up against Teyla's side, making little baby sounds and wiggling. Teyla looked around at them. "I am fairly sure I know what this is about."

"Yeah, well, that makes one of us," John said tightly.

"Doctor Evans explained, but that doesn't mean we understand," Rodney told her.

"I did not know that everyone did not know," she said.

Radek frowned. "We did not know because it is not true."

She looked at him. "This is the part where you assure me that your way of knowing is better than mine."

"That is not what I said," he said, backing away from her.

"This is an argument we can have later," John said, waving a hand. "We have bigger things to worry about."

Teyla shook her head. "I assumed you knew, but I cannot apologize and I do not regret it. You have given my son bravery, strength, and intelligence," she told them. "I will always be thankful for that."

"What about Zelenka?" Rodney asked. "He was already getting intelligence, and I hate to break it to you, but he's not going to learn Czech that way."

Teyla and Radek both looked somewhat uncomfortable. "It gets very cold at night on MS5-891," he answered.

"Don't you think people are going to have a little bit of a problem with it when they find out that you-" John didn't finish that sentence, but it was easy to hear anyway.

Teyla simply shrugged, not fazed at all. "Why would I ever choose not to do the best for my child, no matter what it made people think of me?"

"So, so that was the only reason that you-?" Rodney asked.

"I did not say I did not enjoy it," she said, smiling sneakily. "If I did not love all of you, I would not have even considered tying you to my child." Her face grew serious. "We are in danger every day, all of us. My son will need all the protectors he can get."

"Well, you didn't have to do all this," Rodney said, crossing his arms. "I was already going to spoil him rotten."

"I was gonna teach him macrame," Ronon put in.

Rodney looked at him. "Why do you know macrame?"

Ronon shrugged. "Why wouldn't I know macrame?"

"Yeah, he made me this bracelet," John said, holding up his wrist.

Rodney put his hand over his face. "Oh my god, what is wrong with all of us?"

"If you feel deceived," Teyla said gravely, "if you do not want to commit yourself to this, that is your choice. I will not stop you."

John's face softened. "Teyla," he said quietly. "We'd never leave you like that."

"We've always been in this together," Rodney told her. "There's just another one of us now."

Ronon reached over, stroking Torren's hair. "You couldn't keep us away if you wanted."

Radek sighed. "You will not be able to stop me from teaching him to love pigeons."

From the doorway, Keller cleared her throat. "Time's up," she said softly.

"Get some sleep," John said, kissing Teyla on the forehead.

"We're gonna need really big quarters," Ronon said to Rodney as they left.

Torren stirred beside her, and Teyla smiled.

Comments

[clavally]

Ha! Of course Ronon can macrame, of course he does! This was sweet and funny and I loved it.

[anatsuno]

hahah, oh, poor them. *g*
That was great.

[jesse_the_k]

She looked at him. "This is the part where you assure me that your way of knowing is better than mine."

That's what you learn in ANTH 101 — if you're lucky.

This was lovely. Confess: did you know "partible" beforehand? And if so, what was the context?

[sabinetzin]

It's all from TAing Anthro 101. I am a professional Daniel Jackson, after all, so I have to know these things...

[mific]

Macrame! Pigeons! Teyla wins again! \o/

[cesare]

She looked at him. "This is the part where you assure me that your way of knowing is better than mine."

"That is not what I said," he said, backing away from her.

I love that Radek has the good sense to immediately back down here.

Also, Ronon + macrame = love.

[darkrose]

"God, just- just stop talking, both of you. We have a serious problem on our hands." Rodney rubbed his temples. "Okay, Ronon- where do babies come from?"

Ronon stared at him. "I see why Katie didn't sleep with you."

DIES

DED

[runpunkrun]

One big happy family!