FREEDOM FREEDOM FREEDOM OY!
Nov. 5th, 2012 06:38 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
sabinetzinWith my trusty coffeesuperhero at my side, I present to you the
LOOK THE OTHER WAY THINGATHON!
What is this, I hear you asking me (or perhaps that is just the voices)? This is our bunker, children. This is the festival for people who cannot take one minute more of US election coverage, who really need a place to put their fingers in their ears and go LA LA LA LA LA until the election is over.
Eligibility Rules: To play, one of the following needs to apply to you:
1. You are a US citizen ineligible to vote (too young, etc, we will even take convicted felons).
2. You are not a US citizen.
3. You already voted early/absentee.
4. You will vote on election day.
WE DO NOT DICK AROUND ON THE INTERNET INSTEAD OF VOTING. We vote and THEN we dick around on the internet.
Post whatever you like in the comments, prompts, art, flashfic, picspams, gifs, w/e. We're not fussed about ratings, but you must warn in your subject line for gore or noncon. It's helpful if you put whatever you're posting (e.g. "Prompt" or "Fic") in the subject line of your comment.
ABSOLUTELY NOTHING POLITICAL IN NATURE, REAL WORLD OR FICTIONAL. No characters going to the polls, nobody endorsing any candidate, no political fandoms (sorry West Wing and fake news RPF fans). The most political thing we will allow is Captain America, and even then you better watch your step.
This ficathon will end whenever it ends. WE NEED ALL THE HELP WE CAN GET.
ETA:
FOUR MORE YEARS
The doors to the bunker are flung open, and the -thon remains open. GO FORTH MY CHILDREN
coffeesuperhero at my side, I present to you theLOOK THE OTHER WAY THINGATHON!
What is this, I hear you asking me (or perhaps that is just the voices)? This is our bunker, children. This is the festival for people who cannot take one minute more of US election coverage, who really need a place to put their fingers in their ears and go LA LA LA LA LA until the election is over.
Eligibility Rules: To play, one of the following needs to apply to you:
1. You are a US citizen ineligible to vote (too young, etc, we will even take convicted felons).
2. You are not a US citizen.
3. You already voted early/absentee.
4. You will vote on election day.
WE DO NOT DICK AROUND ON THE INTERNET INSTEAD OF VOTING. We vote and THEN we dick around on the internet.
Post whatever you like in the comments, prompts, art, flashfic, picspams, gifs, w/e. We're not fussed about ratings, but you must warn in your subject line for gore or noncon. It's helpful if you put whatever you're posting (e.g. "Prompt" or "Fic") in the subject line of your comment.
ABSOLUTELY NOTHING POLITICAL IN NATURE, REAL WORLD OR FICTIONAL. No characters going to the polls, nobody endorsing any candidate, no political fandoms (sorry West Wing and fake news RPF fans). The most political thing we will allow is Captain America, and even then you better watch your step.
This ficathon will end whenever it ends. WE NEED ALL THE HELP WE CAN GET.
ETA:
FOUR MORE YEARS
The doors to the bunker are flung open, and the -thon remains open. GO FORTH MY CHILDREN
Fic: Wade Wilson, Worst Houseguest, part I (Clint/Coulson)
Date: 2012-11-06 05:31 am (UTC)----
Phil's eye starts twitching when they step off the elevator, and by the time Clint has their door unlocked, he can already feel the tension headache creeping up the back of his neck.
"Oh no," he murmurs.
There's only one reason this happens, and that reason is a person, a person who is currently parked on his perfect, immaculately maintained antique French sofa, eating Cheetos and drinking beer and watching Duck Dynasty.
"Wilson!" Clint says, in that way that long-lost frat brothers probably greet each other. The only way Phil can think to accurately describe it is to borrow a word from Ms. Lewis, who would undoubtedly call it "brotastic."
She wouldn't be wrong.
Wade lifts his beer bottle (Phil's beer bottle, really, because the Aventinus is Phil's and Wade knows it, which is of course the only reason that Wade is drinking it, though judging by the collection of empty bottles sitting coasterless on the mahogany surface of the coffee table, the beer is no more) in Clint's direction and waves one orangey, Cheetoed hand at Phil. "Hey buddy," he says, polishing off the rest of the beer. "Took you guys long enough to get home. I got bored waiting. Hope you don't mind, I erased everything on your Tivo because it was shit. Supernanny? River Monsters? Law and Order, I mean, really? I recorded three seasons of the Golden Girls and some Designing Women; that is some quality programming."
Phil's pretty sure that Tony can fix whatever Wade has done to the Tivo, so he's trying to remain calm. On the other hand, that means explaining Wade to Tony, or worse, introducing Wade to Tony.
Once upon a time, Phil Coulson would probably have done this job for free, because Phil, like his hero Steve Rogers, thinks that it's a job that needs doing. Today, however, confronted with the prospect of Stark and Wilson Take Manhattan, he thinks they really don't pay him enough.
And now Wade is actually wiping his hands on the couch before he stands up to pound Clint on the back, and Phil is shaking slightly and the twitch in his left eye is back in full force. There isn't a person in the world who gets under his skin the way Wade Wilson does, and he has to play nice, because he's Clint's friend.
"Wilson," Phil says tightly. "That is an antique sofa."
Wade looks down at the white fabric, now smeared with orange streaks. "Lighten up, dude, it'll wash." He frowns at Clint. "I thought you were gonna loosen this guy up, Barton, do I need to leave the two of you alone?" He flops back down onto the couch and grabs the remote. "Actually, don't worry about it, I can just turn the volume up."
"Barton, a word?" Phil says.
"You don't have to dance around it, Coulson, you can just say the words, 'anal sex,'" Wade says, at which point Phil grabs Clint by the wrist and hauls him out of the room.
"I know, I know," Clint says, as soon as Phil shuts the door. "I know what you're going to say, Phil, and I get it, I do."
"I don't really know that you do, Clinton," Phil says, and Clint sits down on the bed, an amused expression on his face.
"Clinton, huh? Is that where we are?"
"Yes," Phil says.
"Phil--"
Phil holds up his hand. "I have read his file; I know what's in it. He had my sympathies, right up until the moment that I met him."
"C'mon, Phil," Clint says, reaching his hand up, but Phil stays where he is. He will not be placated by Clint's face at this particular moment.
"No, I will not, Barton, I will not come on. I am not going on a journey with you if it involves Wade Wilson."
Clint makes a face. "Look, it'll just be for a few days, he can sleep on the couch--"
"Sure, why not, he's already left Cheeto stains on it--"
"Listen, Philip," Clint says, the faintest trace of a smile on his lips, "aren't you the one who's always saying that the equipment is replaceable, but the people aren't? It's just a sofa."
"It's an antique," Phil grumbles. He presses the toe of his dress shoe into the carpet. "And who would want to replace Wilson?"
Re: Fic: Wade Wilson, Worst Houseguest, part I (Clint/Coulson)
Date: 2012-11-06 05:37 am (UTC)BUT IT'S OKAY BECAUSE PHIL CAIN'T EITHER
Re: Fic: Wade Wilson, Worst Houseguest, part I (Clint/Coulson)
Date: 2012-11-06 03:47 pm (UTC)Re: Fic: Wade Wilson, Worst Houseguest, part I (Clint/Coulson)
Date: 2012-11-06 11:35 pm (UTC)On the other hand, that means explaining Wade to Tony, or worse, introducing Wade to Tony.
I am left only with the mental image of Tony and Wade talking at-slash-over each other until one of them explodes. And if it's Wade, he'd just heal up and keep talking until Tony exploded.