New Story

[sabinetzin]

Title: I've Got a Little List
Summary: Harry Potter. He's just killed Voldemort. What's he gonna do next?
Rating: R
Pairing: Can't tell you yet. Would spoil the surprise. Suffice it to say there is slash and implied het.
Warnings: Extreme randomness, slightly OOC!Dumbledore
A/N: A challenge from nowhiteflag which I totally went batshit on. It's terribly amusing though. Definite spew warning. Title is from The Mikado.


When the smoke rolled back, there wasn’t a Death Eater left standing. Sure, the Order had suffered serious casualties- there was hardly an Auror who wouldn’t be in St. Mungo’s for a while. But the final duel was over, and Harry had won. The man- no, creature who had been his enemy for ten years now was really most sincerely dead.

Harry helped Dumbledore out of the crumbling castle.

“Sorry to fuck up your school there, Albus,” said Harry.

“Ah, it’s nothing,” replied Dumbledore, wheezing slightly. “Little bit of mortar, few coats of paint, you’ll never know the difference.” He grinned at Harry. “So you’re the top wizard in the world, clear favorite for Minister of Magic, and you’ve just defeated the Dark Lord Voldemort, your mortal enemy. What are you going to do next?”

Harry smiled knowingly. “I’ve got a plan or two.”

Harry rolled off of Ron, panting. He took a small notebook from where it resided under an empty bottle of Old Ogden’s Very Finest. He picked up a pen stamped with the insignia of the Sofia Hilton. The list read:

Kill Voldemort
Get plastered with Remus
Shag Ginny
Beat Ron at chess
Take Hermione to Bulgaria

Damn. He knew he was reading the list wrong. A minor setback. He was still having the time of his life. He nudged the sweaty boy beside him.

“Oh Merlin’s balls, Harry, we’ve got to draw the line at 4!” said Ron into his pillow.

“Never mind that. Did you bring your chess set?”