Jerry's House of Ass Beating

1. You know what starts the day off right? Weir/Caldwell dubcon.

2. I am finally reading Kushiel's Dart, because I am late to the party as usual. I wasn't sure I was going to like it, because I really don't like fantasy, but I'm devouring it. It pleases me. In locations.

(I am not spoiled for this book. I will cry if you say anything about anything that happens past the first two hundred pages.)

2a. Can I express to you how much I want to write a fusion where John is the worst anguissette ever?

He's brought up by Valerian, obvs, but pretty early on they're all, "What the fuck is even wrong with you," because John is about as docile and yielding as he is blonde, and so his marque gets passed around the houses like some kinky game of White Elephant, until he's, like, clearly too old to be hanging around, sitting around eating bon-bons and playing the lyre for the kids all day. But they can't just put his shit on the lawn, because HE IS PRESTIGIOUS OKAY and plus his father is like, "ALL SALES ARE FINAL, BITCH."

And then Rodney, like, wins him in a card game (that one of the Dowaynes has rigged, obvs). And he's all, "OH GOD OH GOD WHAT DO I DO WITH IT, OH GOD" and he manfully resists John's advances, because he is Not Into That, despite what you might have heard. And he won't let John have any clients, because he's all, "ARE YOU ON DRUGS, THOSE PEOPLE ARE SCARY" and John is like, "Are you missing a step with this whole anguissette thing?"

So John's so bored and horny that he has to resort to ambushing Rodney with blowjobs and breaking his stuff, until Rodney finally gives in, and it turns out, of course, that Rodney is really, really Into That. And then Rodney's so guilty that he gives John enough money to get his marque (because Rodney is incredibly wealthy new money, obvs) and he's all "LEAVE ME TO MY ANGST" and John gets his marque but he just, like, won't leave Rodney's house. He's just sitting on Rodney's couch eating cheetoes, all, "Hell no, you break it, you bought it," until Rodney finally capitulates to the force of their epic, dysfunctional love.

This idea's a fucking goldmine.