Jerry's House of Ass Beating

So, for reasons, more for distraction and soothing purposes than anything else, I ended up looking around for pictures of attractive men on the tumblr. And y'know, I just- I was having trouble. My future husband James McAvoy wasn't doing it for me, there are no good pictures of my Space Boyfriend, Tom Hardy's fans mostly want to talk about how he's adorable and not how he could toss you around the room (rawr).

And I realized what I really needed was Loomers.

This is a very special category of dudes (I say dudes because I have never seen a female loomer, but I like short girls, so idk.). Ideally, they need to be about six feet tall, though I have seen shorter men loom with ease, they need to be dark-haired, and they need to be intense. Like, they just need to have that "I could fuck you up" kind of look. Attractive and threatening is the name of the game, ladies and gentlemen. They're loomers. They loom.

I feel like looming is a dying art, but we are not without loomers in this day and age. Michael Fassbender is a loomer. Loki is a loomer- I say Loki and not Tom Hiddleston because we all know you take him out of that costume and five seconds later there is no looming left to be found.

But for really good looming, we need to step back in time. Vincent Price is, perhaps, the canonical loomer- and you can all eat me cause I think he's hot as hell. Stepping back further, Boris Karloff is a loomer- again, idgaf, he does things to me in The Mummy.

But the grandest, greatest, and most complex of the loomers is John Dall, light of my world. John Dall didn't make many movies; a lot of the ones he was in were really good and really important, but they were un(der)appreciated at the time.

John Dall's looming is probably my favorite because it's that complicated, fucked-up, "you drove me to this" sort of looming. LOOK AT THIS LOOMING. YOU SEE WHAT HE IS DOING HERE. THIS IS HIGH QUALITY LOOMING.

This obviously led me to rewatch Rope, ( And then I rambled incomprehensibly about how this is the greatest movie of all time and how John Dall's character is just human!Erik and how GLORIOUSLY, WONDERFULLY, CONSCIOUSLY GAY it is ) Because nobody likes Rope as much as I do.

But if you're inspired, here is some Rope fic what I wrote, and here is some John Dall RPF. Also I spammed the tumblr with him. So there's that.

And now it's five in the morning, and it's not a coincidence that this entry makes NO SENSE. So whatever. Loomers, won't you?

1. Moving from movies that are bad and should feel bad to movies that are great: I watched Rope again last night with Mom, since she'd never seen it. God, I forgot how much I am in love with that movie. It is my very favorite. Such an elaborately constructed, quiet thriller, and I'd forgotten how funny it is too, and how forward it was for the time. A homosexual relationship (while never directly stated, because of the Hays Code) that's never played for laughs! A romantic subplot that resolves itself by the participants acting like rational adults! Tension of every variety! Jimmy Stewart! John Dall (UNF)!

And I finally found the second director cameo!

I just want more fic. It would please me in the darkest reaches of my little black soul.

2. McShep Match:

x / n words. 60% done!

I am making strides! I'm still not sure if I like it, though. I'm pretty well entrenched in [idea A], but [idea B] still calls to me, and I'm not sure I can make [idea A] work out the way I want. I've decided, though, that if it's not done by the time I leave for Guatemala (NEXT FRIDAY OH GOD IN HEAVEN), I'm dropping out. I just can't guarantee when and what and how I'll have internet access, and I need to give as much warning as possible for any theoretical replacement of mine. I do hope I can finish, though.

3. I am so very close to finishing a line for kink_bingo! And I suspect that the story I am working on will make certain of you very happy. ;D It's like refrigerator soup- I just threw in everything I felt like reading at the time, and it came out pretty delicious, if I do say so myself. I have about a thousand words of it, and it's just burning up my brain, but Mom's been here all weekend, which puts a big damper on writing porn, y'know?

3a. I was supposed to be finishing my incomplete classes this month. Lol. Well, we all see how that worked out.