I really need a handler.

This began completely... innocently is absolutely the wrong word. But it was not complicated. I was trying to write a description of this sexual position (NSFW), which is not a big deal.

And then everything got COMPLETELY out of hand.

(2:09:12 AM) sabinelagrande: (god, anatomy. I'm going to just draw a tiny picture and insert it into the text)
(2:10:41 AM) sabinelagrande: (I feel like I am describing this in the least sexy way possible, to boot)
(2:11:18 AM) dizmo: Ahahah.
(2:11:39 AM) sabinelagrande: stick figures. I'm going to do it with stick figures
(2:11:46 AM) sabinelagrande: WHERE IS MS PAINT I WILL ACTUALLY DO THIS
(2:12:14 AM) sabinelagrande: I WON'T EVEN USE PHOTOSHOP WE ARE ROLLING OLD SCHOOL
(2:12:24 AM) dizmo: SWEET.
( The transcript, continued )

And now, the moment you've been waiting for, my grand masterpiece. ( Cut for naked stick figures )

This is why I will fail my comps.

PS: It didn't help.

Fic: Do Nothing Till You Hear From Me

Title: Do Nothing Till You Hear From Me
Summary: In vino veritas, and all that.
Fandom: X-Men: First Class
Word Count: 2357
Rating/Contents: NC-17, drunkenness, ~feelings~
Pairing: Charles/Raven
Policies: Read my archiving, feedback, and warnings policies here.
A/N: So, my gdocs has gotten totally out of control, right? Not because of the number of stories (not that that's good either), but because I've given up entirely on giving things names that relate to what's actually in the document and just started naming them whatever silly shit comes to mind. It's actually worse than this now, because I just started working on "Raven Darkholme got to get paid." So here is what was labeled "everybody in the club getting tipsy." As one does.

( Do Nothing Till You Hear From Me )

Raven Darkholme got to get paid, son.

Okay, I wrote the sad alternate ending where Erik and Charles fall slowly out of love. I wrote the post-canon story with Magda and Azazel and death and noncon and memory wiping. I even wrote the one with Charles Xavier, grand puppetmaster of Xavier Mansion, and the one where Erik flips his shit over consent play.

But FUCK you, story. You are a dystopian hooker AU where Erik is the BIGGEST CREEPER WHO EVER LIVED and Charles is SO DAMAGED and Raven is SO ANGRY and oh god you are only 800 words long and you are already completely heartbreaking and SO depressing.

Get the fuck out of my brain, because you are persona non fucking grata around here.

I am thisclose to deleting this gdoc in protest. I CANNOT BE HAVING WITH THIS. I HAVE TO START STUDYING FOR COMPS TOMORROW.

Why can't I write something happy.